My computer doesn't have a problem! I HAVE ANTI-VIRUS!!

Thursday, January 15, 2009, 12:42 AM
Website design by John (Article #237)

If you're a hardcore geek you either just groaned or laughed a bit at that headline. Let me share a little exchange I had with a customer on one of our website:

ME (much abbreviated and paraphrased): Sir, your browser is jumping up and down like a Jack Russel Terrier on meth screaming, "I have malware, I have malware! I'm gonna run man in the middle attacks!" And our server's secure session system replied, "No frakkin way... I ain't lettin' you authenticate."

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CUSTOMER (actual gorram quote, all emphasis is mine): Thanks for the tip but my anti-virus software says different. It runs everyday and there is also a firewall on this computer. It's funny that your site is the only one I have problems with a log-on. I guess I'll just shop elsewhere. Thanks anyway.

At the risk you ever wondered how malware spreads so far and wide, meet this guy. The ideal malware target, because he doesn't care as long as his computers says all is well.

"Thanks for the tip but my anti-virus software says different." Think about the raw stoopid involved in making such a statement. Think about the strong wish fulfillment component that requires. I'd rather think I am secure than actually be secure.

Antivirus has long since ceased to be meaningful. It's just there to babysit dim individuals who are still working from the security checklist their company's IT guy gave them in 1997.

The fact that users still think that antivirus is magical is downright disturbing. This, kids, is why you can't dismiss any type of attack as just theoretical. Because the average user is so frickin oblivious that the sheer concept of contemplating his own insecurity on the web almost requires that he insult a helpful person. And if the user is oblivious, why shouldn't the bad guys party with that?

It is by far the human flaw that most endangers the internet.

Human beings prefer to feel secure as opposed to becoming aware of insecurities and fixing them. The average web user would rather scratch his groin than be told by the doctor he ought to sleep with a better class of woman.

I have to admit, at some point all programming boils down to a basic truth: there is cure for stoopid; you can only hope to contain it.

And I say that while trying to remain starkly aware that blaming the customer is the resort of flawed businesses. I am aware that dismissing the customer out of hand is a bad idea. But, wow. Where is the limit? When does the customer become responsible for his own role in screwing things up?

Of course, based on the notion that a mature response is the basis of responsibility, the answer is a resounding "NEVER".

So, to all you oblivious customers I wish you good luck in all your unsecure web browsing.

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Welcome!

Wonder where to start with your web design business?

This blog follows along with my efforts to build and grow a website design business, Pro Content and Design.

The goal of this blog is to fill in blanks that may be empty as you get your business rolling.

This blog, particularly the source code section, is not intended for beginners. If you are not comfortable with databases, Ajax, DOM objects and other advanced methods, I strongly suggest you go take a look over at W3 Schools before even reading -- let alone tinkering with -- any of the code here.

I hope this blog has some value to web designers as they attempt to get their businesses going.

Good luck, and happy reading.

Thank you,
John Crawford
Pro Content and Design