The non-tech classes you should take in college

Tuesday, December 16, 2008, 2:23 AM
Thoughts by John (Article #234)

Here's an interesting problem that comes up from time to time: You're a geek. You go to college to geek up more. But, once you get to college some rat bastard tells you that you have to take English and Phys Ed.

Being a geek, you decide you want to be utilize your required, not-your-degree courses to your maximum advantage? But which one should you take?

#1: Business writing.

I got to pondering this the other day. Of all the classes I absolutely use the hell out of day-in and day-out, nothing compares to Business Writing. I took the 300-level business writing class offer by the English department at Clarion University back in... oh, shit if I know... like eight years ago. I took the once-a-week three hour night class, which is always a fast track to a GPA-lowering B, especially when you live by them like I did.

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But, that's not the point -- GPA obsession is a sign of true ignorance in a world run by C students.

The point is that on a nuts and bolts level, a good, upper-level bachelor's Business Writing class is the best bang for your college dollar in terms of building a toolbox of skills you will use in the real world. Day-in and day-out, I use business writing all the time.

Now, when I'm talking about business writing, I'm talking the art of writing decent memos.

There's a whole other branch of counter-productive crap that involves writing lengthy proposals that serve no purpose except to prove you took the same class as I did.

If you can find out about the class ahead of time, make a point of avoiding the one that is just a circle jerk of future administrative Nazis sitting around creating bullet-point plans that will be filed and forgotten. That class is useless.

But, the real, hardcore memo-writing class is a thing of Zen beauty. What I learned in business writing was to just shut up and say it. Whatever it is. Say in in three to five paragraphs, drop in a salutation, spell and grammar check the old-fashioned way (READ IT!!) and then fire that bad boy off.

In retrospect, there is a real beauty to business writing that rarely shines through in college classes. One, because it is an actual damned skill that everyone values. Two, because the basic skill itself is not natural and can only be learned.

About twenty minutes ago a fired off the following tech support email to a customer of one of my clients:

Hello (again) Mr -------,

I was looking through the server logs and saw that you had a problem
selecting an address for shipping.

I fixed a shipping address in the system that matches your billing address
(-------).

If you need to ship to an alternate address, please click on the "Add a
different shipping address" link on the "Select a shipping destination"
screen during checkout.  This screen will allow you to add unlimited
additional addresses beyond the one you entered for billing.

I hope that resolves your problem.  If the problem persists beyond this
point, please  call the shop during business hours (9-5 Eastern time) to
place a phone order.

Thank you,
-------

There is a pure beauty to regular business writing.

If you have to take an English class in college, and you want to do more than just pass, take Business Writing.

I wish I had more classes to add, but I don't.

Maybe drawing? But most Drawing I classes are about breaking down formalism and teaching you to scribble like a brain-damaged ape.

Skip right past the economic and general business classes. They're beyond useless. Just intellectual masturbation and indoctrination into a failed brand of conservative ideology.

I'd say Stats, but in truth, I haven't done a chi square since college. Not useful.

Newswriting was a decent class, but unless you're going to write AP Style, it serves no purpose that Business Writing doesn't already fill.

I'd like to pitch my graphics classes, but beyond one lesson from a 200-level graphics class -- readability trumps all other goals in graphic design -- I really didn't learn anything that wasn't easily topped by most mediocre Photoshop tutorials.

So, that's my pitch: learn the hell out of Business Writing and never forget it.

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Thank you,
John Crawford
Pro Content and Design